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My (Daria here) mother used to always tell me, "If you can't say something nice about a person, don't say anything." I think that the New Millennium version of this old adage should read, "If you can't say something intelligent, just shut up!"

To illustrate what I'm talking about, let me share some recent quotes from high-profile people that exemplify my theory.

Before you read any further, make sure your neck is nice and limber because you'll no doubt be shaking your head a lot. Ready?

First up: Take two aspirin…