Checklist #2: After You've Moved In

• Discuss your goals regularly, preferably at a time when you're not under the gun to solve a money problem. Even when you keep separate accounts, you need to coordinate financial plans if you hope to retire together.
• Settle on who will be "CFO" of your two-person corporation and how you will delegate money duties. Who is going to pay the bills, balance the checkbook, and handle investments? The other party should get a full briefing of these activities, and be senior VP of other household functions, such as shopping or home repairs. But remember: You each work for the other and good executives delegate. So learn how to perform each other's duties.
• Now that you've set up a "corporate" structure, resolve to hold "board meetings" at least once a month. This is when you'll report to each other on where your money is going and vote yea or nay on purchases you're considering. Make a plan to consult with each other on any purchases that cost more than a pre-agreed-upon amount, maybe $200; pick a realistic amount that won't break the budget. Even if it's for something the household really needs, your partner deserves a say.
• Don't criticize your partner about money matters in front of others. Talk openly, but talk privately!
• Never go to bed mad—especially about a money matter. You'll start the next day on the wrong foot!
• Coordinate your responses when your kids ask for something, so they don't play one parent against the other. If Mom says "no," Dad says "no."

Checklist #3: Money Matters You Must Settle After the Wedding

• Estimate how much tax you'll owe as a couple next year by filling out an IRS Form 1040 for "married filing jointly." Ask your tax professional how many exemptions you should take on your W-4 form. (You can get a new W-4 form from your employer.) That way, you'll have the taxes deducted throughout the year, rather than getting a nasty surprise come tax time.
• Change your beneficiary. If you have an employer pension plan or a life insurance policy, make your spouse your beneficiary.
• Review your health coverage. Many times, it makes sense to combine your health insurance under one plan. Under most plans you have 30 days from your wedding day to add your spouse to your employer-paid health insurance plan without subjecting the new plan member to a medical exam.
• Review your disability insurance. Now that someone else is depending on your income, it's doubly important that you have adequate coverage. The disability coverage you have through your employer may not be adequate; at best it may replace only 80% of your income. You'll have a lot at stake if one of you becomes temporarily disabled—especially once you and your spouse have a mortgage to pay.
• Prepare your estate plan. First, both of you need a will. It's best to hold everything in joint ownership when you have limited assets—such as cars, your house, and bank accounts. With joint ownership, you avoid probate and, in most cases, estate taxes when the first spouse dies. As your estate grows over the years, you and your spouse may want to own some property individually so that you can take advantage of more complex estate-planning techniques.
• Start funding your tax-deferred retirement plans. You and your spouse will be well on your way to an early retirement if you get started saving money in tax-deferred accounts. Take advantage of 401(k), 403(b), SEP-IRA, and Keogh plans and fully fund your IRAs (as long as your contributions are tax-deductible).

If you follow the steps outlined here, and really make an effort to take them seriously, you'll avoid MMD and be well on your way to MMB – that's Marital Money Bliss!

Related Links:

• Couples and Investing
• When Baby Makes Three – 7 Steps to Take Now
• Essential Smart Money Moves For Blending Families

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